Knitters are All About That Satire

Knitters as a group seem to be people who like to laugh and have a good time. I mean, we have to laugh at ourselves because of the somewhat checkered past of knitting, what with ugly Christmas jumpers and the dark days of acrylics. And we have to have a soft spot for muggles with their “not your grandma’s knitting” and “ooh, men can knit, too?” stories.

So it’s not too surprising when knitters poke fun at themselves and the world at large, and a couple of great examples of knitting related humor/awesome have appeared in the past few days.

First there was the awesome knitting cover up of Kim Kardashian’s booty (and most of the rest of her) brought to us by the good ladies of Mason-Dixon Knitting (here I provide just a portion so you’ll go over there are see it in all its glory).

I was kind of just getting over Kim’s Lopi’d booty when Franklin Habit offered a knitting-related rewriting of Meghan Trainor’s “All About that Bass” to the delightful, only-seems-obvious-after-someone-else-did-it “All About that Lace.” Again, you’ll have to click over to the Panopticon for the full rendition (which I hope someone sets to video soon!) but here’s a taste:

I’m all about that lace, ’bout that lace,
No cables.
I’m all about that lace,
‘Bout that lace, lace, lace.
Yeah, it’s pretty clear
I need a size 2.
‘Cause I been swatching, swatching,
Like I’m supposed to do.
‘Cause I know what you need to make it all lace–
All the right holes in all the right places.

Man, I love knitters.

[Photo by Kristin Stone for Mason-Dixon Knitting. Bless her.]

Looking for more Christmas themed Knitting patterns? Check out some of our favorite Knitting patterns on Etsy and

These Christmas Knitting Pattern Books on Amazon

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Blankets are a great blank slate project that you can change up in a million different ways. From color to stitch pattern to size, the possibilities are almost endless.

Jared Flood, the designer behind Brooklyn Tweed, was inspired by a log cabin quilt his mother made in 1995 to re-create that design in knitting, which led to more blankets and ultimate Brooklyn Tweed’s Knit and Crochet Blankets, which includes 25 patterns from an array of designers using different skills and techniques to make cozy, pretty blankets.

The patterns are divided into three aesthetic themes: traditions, minimalism and colorplay. The patterns are rated on a scale of one to five, with one being the easiest, and there aren’t any pieces rated five. Two blankets are rated one, 14 are two, eight are three and one is four.

In addition, three of the 25 patterns are crocheted, but they either use single crochet or granny stitch, so they are pretty easy even if you don’t do a lot of crochet. You can see all the patterns on Ravelry.

Some of my favorites include Rattan by Rastus Hsu, a chunky blanket worked in knits and purls with simple crossing stitches to make a raised woven look; Homewood by Seth Richardson, covers in dramatic, loopy cables; Ainur Berkimbayeva’s Tessellate, one of the beginner projects that doesn’t really look beginner but is totally worked in knit and purl stitches; Warp + Weft by Aist? Butkevi?ien?, which is mostly knits and purls but makes a fun woven look fabric that blew my mind a little bit; and the same designer’s Canyonland, a multicolored blanket with wavy stripes.

The patterns tell you how to resize them for different dimensions and include information on pattern repeats where it is possible to make a totally custom size.

Many different techniques are included here such as cables, lace, shadow knitting, intarsia and other colorwork techniques, as well as modular knitting and lots of sewing pieces together. The patterns are all presented with charts, but there are line by line written instructions available on the Brooklyn Tweed website if you need them.

The book ends with a deep dive into log cabin knitting, telling the story of the quilt Jared’s mom made and how he made it in knitting, as well as the multitude of variations you can make if you want your own log cabin style design.

The back of the book includes a little written information about some of the special techniques needed, but there are no photos.

This is a lovely book full of inspiration for knitting and crochet blankets for any skill level. If you like to make blankets as gifts or aspire to have a handmade blanket in every room of the house, these designs would be a great place to start.

About the book: 192 pages, paperback, 25 patterns. Published 2024 by Abrams Books, suggested retail price $24.99.

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