Knitters are All About That Satire

Knitters as a group seem to be people who like to laugh and have a good time. I mean, we have to laugh at ourselves because of the somewhat checkered past of knitting, what with ugly Christmas jumpers and the dark days of acrylics. And we have to have a soft spot for muggles with their “not your grandma’s knitting” and “ooh, men can knit, too?” stories.

So it’s not too surprising when knitters poke fun at themselves and the world at large, and a couple of great examples of knitting related humor/awesome have appeared in the past few days.

First there was the awesome knitting cover up of Kim Kardashian’s booty (and most of the rest of her) brought to us by the good ladies of Mason-Dixon Knitting (here I provide just a portion so you’ll go over there are see it in all its glory).

I was kind of just getting over Kim’s Lopi’d booty when Franklin Habit offered a knitting-related rewriting of Meghan Trainor’s “All About that Bass” to the delightful, only-seems-obvious-after-someone-else-did-it “All About that Lace.” Again, you’ll have to click over to the Panopticon for the full rendition (which I hope someone sets to video soon!) but here’s a taste:

I’m all about that lace, ’bout that lace,
No cables.
I’m all about that lace,
‘Bout that lace, lace, lace.
Yeah, it’s pretty clear
I need a size 2.
‘Cause I been swatching, swatching,
Like I’m supposed to do.
‘Cause I know what you need to make it all lace–
All the right holes in all the right places.

Man, I love knitters.

[Photo by Kristin Stone for Mason-Dixon Knitting. Bless her.]

Looking for more Christmas themed Knitting patterns? Check out some of our favorite Knitting patterns on Etsy and

These Christmas Knitting Pattern Books on Amazon

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If you’re new to lace knitting or just aren’t sure how to incorporate the technique into garments, check out these tops and sweaters that use lace as a decorative element.

The easiest lace out there is eyelets, and you can practice them plenty with this eyelet covered sweater from Knitcro Addict. It uses light/DK weight yarn and is worked in four pieces knit flat. It’s intended to be a little cropped and a little oversized, and includes sizes XS to XXL in the pattern.

If you’re in parts of the world where it’s getting colder as you read this, the Nora sweater from Bummbul might be a good choice. This is actually a great one for learning lace because it’s worked in super bulky yarn, which makes it easier to see what you’re doing and makes the lace super graphic. This one just comes in one size, with a 42 inch (106) cm bust, but that could fit a variety of people depending on how much ease you like.

Minimi Knit Design has a cute allover lace cardigan worked in one piece from the bottom up. It’s worked in lace weight mohair held double, which maybe isn’t the best for those new to lace (because it can be hard to rip out) but it sure is pretty. Sizes range to fit from 30 to 66 inches/76 to 168 cm bust measurements.

If you’d rather not have lace all over your sweater, you can knit the Lumi sweater from Originally Lovely, which has a chevron lace pattern on the yoke and is otherwise worked in reverse stockinette stitch. (It’s worked inside out so you don’t have to purl every stitch.) The pattern has 9 sizes from XS to 5XL and uses worsted weight yarn.

Or try the super romantic sookie blouse from Trust the mojo (available on Ravelry). This sweet top is started working flat from the bottom up and has a V-neck and I-cord edgings. The sleeves are worked separately in the round, and the pieces are all joined together to work in one piece to finish off the top. It comes in eight sizes and is available in English and French.

You can also pair lacy sleeves with an otherwise plain top, like on the Starflower Wrap from Annelise Driscoll Gingrow. This intermediate pattern makes a wrap sweater with generous lacy sleeves and a double wrap belt. The pattern has nine sizes, from XS to 5XL, and is available for free from Hobbi.

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