Knitters are All About That Satire

Knitters as a group seem to be people who like to laugh and have a good time. I mean, we have to laugh at ourselves because of the somewhat checkered past of knitting, what with ugly Christmas jumpers and the dark days of acrylics. And we have to have a soft spot for muggles with their “not your grandma’s knitting” and “ooh, men can knit, too?” stories.

So it’s not too surprising when knitters poke fun at themselves and the world at large, and a couple of great examples of knitting related humor/awesome have appeared in the past few days.

First there was the awesome knitting cover up of Kim Kardashian’s booty (and most of the rest of her) brought to us by the good ladies of Mason-Dixon Knitting (here I provide just a portion so you’ll go over there are see it in all its glory).

I was kind of just getting over Kim’s Lopi’d booty when Franklin Habit offered a knitting-related rewriting of Meghan Trainor’s “All About that Bass” to the delightful, only-seems-obvious-after-someone-else-did-it “All About that Lace.” Again, you’ll have to click over to the Panopticon for the full rendition (which I hope someone sets to video soon!) but here’s a taste:

I’m all about that lace, ’bout that lace,
No cables.
I’m all about that lace,
‘Bout that lace, lace, lace.
Yeah, it’s pretty clear
I need a size 2.
‘Cause I been swatching, swatching,
Like I’m supposed to do.
‘Cause I know what you need to make it all lace–
All the right holes in all the right places.

Man, I love knitters.

[Photo by Kristin Stone for Mason-Dixon Knitting. Bless her.]

Looking for more Christmas themed Knitting patterns? Check out some of our favorite Knitting patterns on Etsy and

These Christmas Knitting Pattern Books on Amazon

Fall will be here before we know it, and that means there are holidays coming right behind where we might be entertaining at home. It’s always fun to have a hand knit touch in your home for other people to see, and if you’re going to be in the kitchen all day you might as well have some nice knit dish cloths to use.

I love this little plaid hand towel from Darling Jadore. Use a little bit of leftover cotton yarn from another project for the plaid portion. It looks like the horizontal stripes are worked as you knit and the vertical stripes are done with duplicate stitch, making this a quick and easy project even newer knitters can make.

Combine garter stitch and an easy eyelet pattern worked sideways to make the Annette Dish Towel from Cluck Cluck Boots, which is meant to be reminiscent of flour sack towels. It calls for DK weight yarn and you can work it in one color or two (or even three!).

Add a little more texture with this set of kitchen towels from Whileberry Creative. They’re mostly worked in garter stitch with borders in easy knit/purl patterns, and you can work them in sport or worsted weight yarn.

Two of Wands Shop has another cute allover knit and purl pattern they call the Seersucker Textured Tea Towel. It’s an easy repeating pattern worked in worsted weight yarn, and there’s a chart in the pattern you can use, but don’t have to, if you want to practice knitting from a chart.

The Classic Cloth dish towel from Handmade Home by Connie is another one that can use a little leftover yarn in a contrasting color, or you could color block it our use stripes throughout the pattern. This one uses worsted weight yarn and another easy repeating knit purl stitch pattern.

If you like to hang your towel on the oven handle or elsewhere but it’s always falling off, try the Stay Put kitchen towel from Fancy Step Knits. This project is worked in garter stitch and includes a hole partway through so you can pull the towel through itself over a rod or handle. Stripes are optional but a nice addition.

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