Knitters are All About That Satire

Knitters as a group seem to be people who like to laugh and have a good time. I mean, we have to laugh at ourselves because of the somewhat checkered past of knitting, what with ugly Christmas jumpers and the dark days of acrylics. And we have to have a soft spot for muggles with their “not your grandma’s knitting” and “ooh, men can knit, too?” stories.

So it’s not too surprising when knitters poke fun at themselves and the world at large, and a couple of great examples of knitting related humor/awesome have appeared in the past few days.

First there was the awesome knitting cover up of Kim Kardashian’s booty (and most of the rest of her) brought to us by the good ladies of Mason-Dixon Knitting (here I provide just a portion so you’ll go over there are see it in all its glory).

I was kind of just getting over Kim’s Lopi’d booty when Franklin Habit offered a knitting-related rewriting of Meghan Trainor’s “All About that Bass” to the delightful, only-seems-obvious-after-someone-else-did-it “All About that Lace.” Again, you’ll have to click over to the Panopticon for the full rendition (which I hope someone sets to video soon!) but here’s a taste:

I’m all about that lace, ’bout that lace,
No cables.
I’m all about that lace,
‘Bout that lace, lace, lace.
Yeah, it’s pretty clear
I need a size 2.
‘Cause I been swatching, swatching,
Like I’m supposed to do.
‘Cause I know what you need to make it all lace–
All the right holes in all the right places.

Man, I love knitters.

[Photo by Kristin Stone for Mason-Dixon Knitting. Bless her.]

Looking for more Christmas themed Knitting patterns? Check out some of our favorite Knitting patterns on Etsy and

These Christmas Knitting Pattern Books on Amazon

Getting ready for back to school makes me think about pencil crafts, so let’s take a look at some pencil themed knitting patterns!

I recently made a pencil on a circular knitting machine, and it was a fun, quick, easy project that uses little bits of leftover yarn (and if you don’t have yellow you can make it a colored pencil using whatever color’s your favorite). And if you want to make a bigger version check out this pattern from Orange Olive Road on Etsy.

If you want to knit a pencil pillow by hand, check out Sketchy, available on Ravelry from Shana S. Cohen. This one uses worsted weight yarn and has two size options and the choice to make a pencil with an eraser or a colored pencil.

Pencil scarves seem to be the most popular kind of pencil knitting pattern, and there are lot of cute ones. This one from Cosy Craft UK mostly uses garter stitch, with some welts to add texture and what looks like an I-cord edging. It calls for DK weight yarn.

If you want to go all garter stitch try this version from Emsley Co Creations, which uses five colors of DK weight yarn and just a little shaping to make the point of the pencil.

There’s also this fun, mostly stockinette so it looks like it curls a bit, pencil pattern that looks like it’s worked in chunky yarn from Little Knits Studio. This one uses just a little garter stitch and easy shaping for the point.

If you don’t want a pencil scarf, how about some pencil socks? The No. 2 Pencil Socks from The Yarn Enabler are available from Ravelry and use five colors of sock yarn. They feature wide ribs to mimic the texture of a pencil and have options to be worked from the top down or the toe up.

Needs Sharpening by Alexander Walker is a free pattern on Ravelry that uses five colors of sock yarn to make a sort of shortie sock. The little bit of black at the tips of the toes inspired the name. These, too, can be worked in either direction and are available in three sizes.

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